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Unpacking Expectations: Why Discussing Needs Pre-Trip is Essential for Couples

We are almost half way through the summer and many couples and families are getting ready for their long awaited vacations! You have booked the flights, rented the vehicle, picked the best hotel or Air BNB, but have you shared with your spouse what you hope this vacation will look and feel like? Have you told him or her what you have been day dreaming about doing for the past 3 months? Our expectations often act as silent passengers on our vacations, shaping our experiences and interactions in ways we may not even realize.

Have you ever been on the last day of your vacation with your spouse only to find that you have gone to every museum tour in the brochure, but failed to go to that one amazing restaurant you were dreaming about for months? You didn't say anything of course, because you saw how happy your spouse was. Have you ever spent countless hours shopping at all the boutiques, but never had time for that amazing hike through that local trail you had been hearing about? Enter a vacation couple argument! Although, you are more than willing to share activities that are on your spouse's bucket list, without engaging in your anticipated activities you secretly start to become disappointed or even resentful. Then the trip that you had envisioned bringing you closer together ends in an explosive fight that you did not see coming! Maybe you don't end up arguing, but instead you become quiet and withdrawn. When your spouse asks you if something is wrong you say, " No I'm fine." Then you drive 10 hours in the car in silence! What just happened?

By discussing needs and expectations before the trip, couples can not only align their visions but also strengthen their connection through open and honest dialogue. This proactive approach sets the stage for a more meaningful and enjoyable journey, where both partners feel heard, understood, and valued.

In order to do this you must be willing to share your true thoughts and feelings and risk vulnerability. It is not wrong if you would love to go to every tour on the list and it is not wrong if you want to shop at the boutiques. These preferences are not wrong they are just different and opposites do attract! We get ourselves into trouble when we assume that our spouse's needs are the same as ours. When you truly understand and accept this you can be excited to communicate with your spouse ways that you can create a trip with both of you in mind.

This is where the crucial art of communication steps in, paving the way for a harmonious and fulfilling couple travel experience.

Why Discussing Needs Before the Trip Matters

Communication is the cornerstone of any successful relationship, and this holds especially true when it comes to traveling as a couple. Each person brings their own set of hopes, dreams, and desires for the trip, and failing to unpack these expectations beforehand can lead to misunderstandings and disappointments down the road

5 Tips for Discussing Expectations

Set Aside Dedicated Time : Prior to the trip, carve out a specific time to sit down and talk about your expectations. Create a safe space where both partners can express themselves freely without fear of judgment.
Practice Active Listening : When discussing expectations, make a conscious effort to actively listen to your partner. Allow them to share their thoughts and feelings without interruption, and show empathy and understanding.
Be Honest and Vulnerable : Share your expectations with honesty and vulnerability. Whether it's a dream activity you've always wanted to do or a specific way you envision spending quality time together, open up about your desires.
Prioritize Each Other's Needs : Acknowledge that each person may have different priorities and preferences for the trip. By prioritizing each other's needs and finding a middle ground, couples can ensure that both parties feel valued and respected.
Plan Together : Take the opportunity to plan parts of the trip together based on your shared expectations. Whether it's creating a bucket list of activities or outlining must-visit destinations, collaborative planning can enhance the overall experience.

Embracing Couple Communication for a Memorable Journey

So, before you pack your bags and set out on your next adventure together, remember the power of conversation. By openly discussing your needs, dreams, and expectations, you can create a trip filled with shared experiences, mutual appreciation for each other's differences, and cherished memories.

If you're in need of some additional support so that you can experience less overwhelm and greater joy in your relationships, my team and I would be happy to help! We offer counseling for children, teens, adults, parents, and couples from a Christian perspective. Give us a call at 772-206-0248. Rachel, my assistant would be happy to help you begin the intake process.

Our office is located at 615 SW St. Lucie Crescent Suite # 204 in beautiful, Stuart, Fl . The office is located very close to the Roosevelt Bridge and Sailor's Return Restaurant. Telehealth services are also available to all residents in the state of Florida.